Q: The other day someone asked me if I had an "ink pen". Why did they ask if I had an "ink pen" instead of just a "pen"? Is there any other kind of pen?

Signed,

What's-his-face

A: Dear what's his face! I believe the term "INK PEN" originated form when they stopped using QUILLS and stated making metal tipped FOUNTAIN PENS to write with (pen & ink). Hence Ink Pen- two separate devices to write with. YES there are another types of pen as mentioned the "FOUNTAIN PEN". And the "BALL POINT PEN" which revolutionized writing because writing with ink is now all in one, faster and easier. Also the word PEN is used to reference someone’s style of writing. Have a day! Happy

Q: What is the best way to get your whiney co-worker to leave you alone?

A: Well, when I have people bugging me all the time I just get them to hate me. I just act pissed off all the time so they don't want anything to do with me, and if they ask me what's wrong I just tell them I'M FED UP WITH EVERYTHING AND LIFE SUCKS. Another thing I will do is to just confront them and tell them I'm not a counselor or baby sitter and I have work to do. It depends on the situation. If it's really annoying I will tell the boss to have them leave me alone.

Q: How would you react to your dad wrecking your car on Christmas Eve?

A: Good Question! Before my Dad Croaked he was really sick so I would have probably said "WHAT THE FUCK" and made him let me use his car until mine got fixed!!!

Q: Happy how do you know everything?

A: Dear smart ass! Who thinks I know everything? I am old and have been around the block more times than the postman but I don't profess to know everything, I do however only open my big fat mouth when I know something for sure. Plus I apply commonsense to a lot of situations, which seems to impress people considering most people have none. Have a day! Next!!!!

Q:...you don't look very happy. It must be all those needles in your chest. Anyways, what are you going to get your girlfriend for Valentine's Day? Better yet, what should I get my boyfriend? I think he might be cheating on me...

A: Well " WHAT SHOULD I GET" Happy has it easy this year I don't have a girlfriend! SO the answer is NOTHING!!!!!!! I love these obscure Questions. Based on what you said about thinking your boyfriend is cheating on you, I personally wouldn't bother getting him anything. If I were in your shoes I would probably just get MYSELF a new Boyfriend, well girlfriend in my case. If that isn't an option and here is test you can perform to see if he has any reason to cheat on you. GET HIM SOMETHING HE LIKES! If you have been an attentive girlfriend that listens to what her significant other has to say, you will know what the perfect gift is. If not, I would try the new boyfriend idea and try not to make the same mistake! Have a day! Happy!

Q: Dear Happy, I have questions of great importance for you to ponder! (These are intentionally odd, obtuse and stupid).

I understand that you can thrust a needle through your tongue. How do you do this without bleeding to death?

A: Dear odd, obtuse and stupid!!!! The reason I don't bleed to death when I pierce my tongue is because I avoid my Lingual arteries. I have mastered my anatomy. I do bleed a little though sometimes!!!

Q: You, of all people, must know how to be profoundly happy. What advice could you give me on finding true happiness in life?

A: My key to happiness is to always be true to myself no matter what. Life isn't always perfect for "THE HAPPY" though.

Q: How would you react to your dad wrecking your car on Christmas Eve?