Q:
I find the art of Bondage very intriguing. Where do I start, with My play partner? Give me examples, please !
A:
Bondage is a sexual practice that involves physically restraining one of the partners. Spicing up your relationship with Bondage is so much fun, when you practice it safely. If your partner has pain in a particular body part, then Bondage might not be a good idea. There are different techniques with Bondage. Make sure what your partners' limits are. If your partner doesn't enjoy the feeling of becoming restrained, then your partner should restrain YOU instead. Implements which I use for Bondage are: Rope, Saran Wrap, Hand Cuffs, Chains, My Rubber Vac Bed, Spreader Bars and Scarves.
Sure... when My partner (victim) is in restrictive Bondage, then I'll have My way with the person. If you get off by administering pain while your partner is in Rope Bondage, then have a great time pushing his/her pain tolerance. Spanking, Clit Torment, Nipple Torture, Ball Busting, Biting and Hair Pulling are examples of what some Masochists enjoy while being bound. If your partner is not into any masochistic activities, then TEASE him/her. I call it, "Erotic Teasing". While your partner is bound to your bed, get a pair of scented panties. (No, don't drench it with Perfume.) Wear those panties all day, and put the panties in his mouth. Blindfold him, with a blindfold (or used stockings). The feel of the tip of your fingertails would probably give him the shivers. Whispering 'naughty sex games' in his ears is mind-boggling. Gently dry humping his hard cock (while he's still bound & gagged) is quite the sight. Oooh, now I'm getting worked up ! Alright, I'll stop. But those are examples of fun Bondage Sex games. Sex doesn't have to be involved. It's your decision.
Q:
How does one get into the Professional World of Domination?
A:
I started out as a Lifestyle. I was trained by a Dominant couple into the lifestyle. Some Women rush into getting into the Professional World, only to make Money. My suggestion: "You have to really enjoy what you do". If you don't, then this business isn't right for you.
#1. Learn about BDSM, and learn what this business exactly entails. There are some ways to educate yourself. Reading books on Fetish/BDSM. Purchasing movies from the Internet or at a Porn Shop. Some porn shops carry BDSM oriented DVD's. Meeting people who have been in the lifestyle. If they are eager to train you, then that would be fabulous.
#2. There are Dungeons in Chicago (another term, "Houses") where you can work out of. There are other Women who work at these particular 'Houses'. I started out working at a 'House', which would be My advice. From there, you'll be able to interact with other Women & see quite the variety of men.
#3.Marketing yourself is important. How else are men going to find out about you? Build a website, go to Fetish/Bondage conventions, advertise on the internet. It doesn't hurt to promote yourself. Better yet, get a slave (or two or three) to help with the promotions.
#4. As a Pro-Domme: If your ONLY focus is to make money, it will bite you in the ass in the long-run.
Q:
Define Masochism, and why are so many people into the slave/masochist lifestyle?
A:
Masochism is the deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. I highly enjoy pushing someone's limits. "Hmm, let's see how many whacks can they handle, with this delightful rubber paddle"? "I want to hear this bitch scream, when I apply My sharp teeth on his/her nipples." "I have a new cock-leash. Will he scream, if I pull harder & harder?" These are some questions I ask Myself, when I'm conducting a scene with a slave/client. I love to get a reaction from the person. Like a scream. A shout. A moan. A "THANK YOU MISTRESS". Masochists turn to Dominatrices because we can't get ENOUGH of administering pain. It can be a turn-on to some Dommes. Or simply AMUSING. This lifestyle is about playing safe & consenting to the activities. A masochist isn't created overnight. Why are so many men into receiving pain & submitting to a Powerful Goddess? It's a form of release. Stress relieving to the individual. The person enjoys the feeling of becoming sexually stimulated, while bottoming. So many reasons.
Submit your questions to Xena@Kiltermagazine.org
More Q & A with Mistress Xena is in the Winter edition of
KILTER magazine Click HERE to find out where you can pick one up!
